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Le-Bah. [November 4 2005]
[ mood | busy ]

New Livejournal.

It's Friends Only.
I'm too lazy to convert all my other entries.
Name inspired by Danielle. <3
Add & comment bitches.



2 :Read Comment

Confused... [November 2 2005]
[ mood | confused ]

I'd like to start off with a fantastic day.
It really wasn't.
I know I shouldn't be writing this in my Livejournal, and I should just talk to people it concerns..
But..this is the only way I know how to vent to myself.
Read it or not, it's not that important.

And This Should Be For Only Your Eyes...Collapse )

4 :Read Comment

Happy Halloween, Bitches. [October 31 2005]
[ mood | cold ]

So Lonely.Collapse )

14 :Read Comment

New Hair................... [October 30 2005]
[ mood | cheerful ]


 Obviously Me.Collapse )

14 :Read Comment

A Post To Hold Y'all Off. [October 30 2005]
[ mood | devious ]

So you um know, the next post is going to consist of pictures of my hair.
I'm on the laptop, without photoshop.
I stupidly uploaded them on, not thinking I couldn't resize them on my own.
& bang, photobucket screws me over by not resizing their images anymore.
So tomorrow.
However, I'll update now, I guess.

Yo, This One Here..Goes Out To All My Playas Out There.Collapse )

14 :Read Comment

Gonna Smile And Not Get Worried. [October 28 2005]
[ mood | amused ]


                                                                    This Is My Hair.Collapse )

9 :Read Comment

[October 26 2005]
[ mood | blah ]

 WTF? I clearly have time to update <3.Collapse )

15 :Read Comment

Decided To Picture Post. [October 25 2005]
[ mood | calm ]

I decided to picture post before I disappeared for a few days.
Enjoy my ugliness.

I Love Candace!Collapse )

22 :Read Comment

Le-MMM, Son. [October 24 2005]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Le-Monday, as always overly dreaded.
Updates this week will be scarce.
& I realized they invented LJ cuts for my sole purpose, so hit it.

Come On Boo, Give Me A Kiss!Collapse )

21 :Read Comment

I Get To Stay In, Le-Yay. [October 22 2005]
[ mood | bitchy ]

So...guys are assholes.

Either they're telling me they'll be around and aren't.
Ditching me for people they see all the time, and a few drinks.
Or call me frustrated, and say to do something tomorrow with them, because tonight they "can't make it".
I say, eff all three of you.

I'm seeing an amazing "myself" night,
catching up on a lot of sleep,
& ignoring the phonecalls and text messages of any of the above mentioned.

Yes, I'm way too bitter for my own good.
But I'm allowed to be.
I almost broke my effing ribs today.
Infact, I think they may be bruised.

I went to two malls today.
Ended up buying the cutest toggle necklace
Temporarily...until I get my one from Tiffany & Co..
I was very tempted to buy this gorgeous "Miami-styled" shirt today too.
However, I didn't have $90 on me to waste on something I'll only wear once.
Perhaps Wednesday?
I stopped in at The Body Shop to look at their makeup.
However, I wouldn't spend like $35 on two shades..
Unless it's from Sephora or Mac.
I keep adding to this entry.
How lame am I?.

Will, It's safe to call me, Eddison doesn't care anymore. Kinda..sorta..
And now my life is drama free...Le-Mmmm.

Your love means more to me than you could ever imagine.

35 :Read Comment

My Weekendly Update, Because I Have Better Things To Do....Le-Hah. [October 21 2005]
[ mood | pleased ]

This song is amazingly, and rules my life right now.
So, I think we all know this is going to run into a lot of nonsense.
So I'll LJ-cut it for those who don't want me to fill their friendpage.

Have A Good Weekend Dahlings.Collapse )

27 :Read Comment

Now Let's All Get Naked [October 19 2005]
[ mood | happy ]

Oh my god.
So I slept from 2am until 3pm.
That's intense, and I'll be paying for it tomorrow.
When I'm yet again swamped in work.

Dum De Dum DUMCollapse )

13 :Read Comment

Another Lame Ass Survey. [October 18 2005]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Today was ugh. Class, Class, Shopping.
We had to walk all around the mall trying to find an ATM, because Josh owed a friend who works at HMV $50, or something
I didn't even buy anything..Except Land of the Dead.
They had this huge Halloween display area, I loved it.
So PJ, Jamie & I had a little family movie night, It was gorgeous.
Then we went to Dairy Queen & Bethany and I got Cappicuno Moo Lattes. Mmmmm.
Melissa is driving up for the weekend.
I think.
Alex wants to go clubbing, but ugh.
I'm into just lazying around & I want boyfriend time.
This means Melissa can hang out with PJ & Jamie majority of the time, while I bug Brian.
Back to "what we would do if a zombie-disease spread throughout the world"
...God, wtf?
Clicky Clicky.Collapse )

25 :Read Comment

Ugh, Gurgle Gurgle. [October 17 2005]
[ mood | exhausted ]

I'm a god-be-damned post whore.
It's incredibly terrible, on my part.
Whatever, I totally enjoy venting and rambling.
I don't feel the way I've ever felt. I know.
I'm gonna smile and not get worried. I try but it shows.
Anyone can make what I have built. And better now.
Anyone can find the same white pills. It takes my pain away.

Ugh, The Day Under The Cut.Collapse )

27 :Read Comment

..... [October 16 2005]
[ mood | Upset Beyond Belief. ]

I need to grow up.
I need to stop throwing my insecurities at other people.
I need to stop blaming other people for my idiocy.
I just need to stop hurting people.

Commence tears, hatred & heartache.

Welcome back regret, depression & lonliness.

Goodbye hapiness, comfort & love.

EDIT: I didn't want to walk away from you, but I have to...so I did.
But it's a false sense of accomplishment.
On the outside, I'm happy I finally have a backbone.
On the inside, I've disintegrated to absolutely nothing.
I feel sorry for myself.
But I love you.

24 :Read Comment

What A Sad & Boring Night. [October 16 2005]
[ mood | blah ]

Friday: Consisted of nothing really.
Le-Brian and I were up for like...8 hours talking.
He's incredibly awesome, totally sweet & irritatingly perfect.
Although at some times I may completely contradict those three statements.
But they're completely true.
Other Brian didn't wake up until nearly 2 in the morning
So we spent the rest of the night on our cellphones until he passed out.
I called Will at 6am and made plans for Monday.
he was kind of pissed at me for waking him up..
Which was awesome because he does it to me all the time..
And I hardly EVER get annoyed with him.
I fell asleep shortly after.

Today: I didn't do much of anything.
Discussed stuff with Le-Brian..
Chitchated and bugged Kevin, because he's a homie.
And that's about it.
Brian wanted to do something, so he called me at 11:30
He was complaining he was tired, but he wanted to hang out.
So I told him to sleep for an hour, and then call me.
Surprise surprise, he keeps sleeping.
I'm clearly not very important.
Whatever, it just means the awkward visit is post-poned.
I want to sleep, but I'm talking to Will.
He'll keep me occupied until I fall asleep at my keyboard..
That's definately love.
I'm just going to go to lay in bed and get him to call.


My updates are continuing to get lamer.

ps+ Danielle, post the overrides for your layout, I've decided I LOVE it. (:

Edit: Wimpy text messages at 5 in the morning make everything better <3.

14 :Read Comment

Survey. [October 15 2005]
[ mood | blah ]

Brian won't go to bed.
I personally want to kick his ass.
Yeah, I think I will.

Survey, Ladies & Gents.Collapse )

16 :Read Comment

Serious Picture Post Under The Cut. [October 13 2005]
[ mood | drained ]

Today = Uneventful.
Like everyday.
I'm still sick.
I'm still taking medication.
I'm still bitching about nothing.
I'm just getting more stressed.
You finally figure things out with life, and then BANG.
Yeah, I fucked up.
I hate being thrown into situations, that I would really rather ignore.
& Here I go being an emo kid, because everything in life is turning out to be worthless.
Between hearing a series of arguments, being involved in a series of arguments, being sick, getting frustrated by people, and re-thinking everything out...
I've just come to the conclusion to hate everything.
I don't want to put up with it.
I don't even care to try.
I just don't want to do it.
Leave me alone, if all you're going to do is add more useless junk.
Yes, I'm being a whiney bitch.
ps+ Thanks for the call/talk today Brian
I'm taking the great opportunity that I promised 3 - 4 days ago.
There are also some random ones of pretty little me, because...
I've been taking random pictures when I have nothing to do.
Comment on the ugliness.
I know he's someone, you'd hate to be. He has me, and you're left with a memory.

Beware Dial-ups. (20+ Pictures)Collapse )

31 :Read Comment

I'm No Longer Me. [October 12 2005]
[ mood | sick ]

I went to the doctor today.
He says I have a throat infection, yet it could be mono. he said it's definately just a throat infection, and Christi said I don't need my tonsels out. YAY!
Not good. He put me on a shitload of antibiotics.
3 times a day.
Bite me.

The last couple of days have been rough.
Thoroughly possible to explain.

On top of it all, my own boyfriend doesn't want to stay around and hang out with me.
He'd rather go to see a film with his friends.
I know you had this planned, but your girlfriend is an emotional and physical wreck, and all you can do is say "When you feel better to talk about it, please talk to me".

Will came home yesterday.
He called me last night when I was at a movie with Jamie, and I forgot to call him back.
I'll do so at some other point in time.

I tried giving Brian a call, but he didn't answer.
Something I'm absolutely use to, that I don't even bother letting it go to the voicemail anymore.
He did text message me asking if I called, in a very subtle "I don't care, but did you?" kind of way.
I texted him back that I did, but it wasn't important, and that was it.
I'm quite proud how I don't let him get to me anymore.

Over him?
I vote, yes.

Quit smoking, completely.
Due to my mother seeing and lecturing me for an hour and a half.
Health comes before anything.

My bloody Ipod broke again. For God sakes.
It takes 20 minutes to restore it and put all the music back on
but then it works for 10 minutes and then it dies and says I need to restore it again.
I need rest.
I should get down to that.
Much love.

G o o d M o r n i n g H e a r t a c h e , Y o u ' r e L i k e An O l d F r i e n d . C o m e A n d S e e M e Ag a i n .

EDIT: Brian called me today.
We talked for like 2.5 hours, surprisingly.
I find comfort and reassurance in his voice, regardless of what he's saying.
Call it alleviating if you want, but it's the truth.
I think we've re-created a friendship, if anything.
I'm pretty sure that's as deep as it'll go.
I know his trust level towards me is far in the negatives, and I know that I wouldn't be able to bare losing him again.
So as of now, I feel as though my full heart just entered my life all over again.
Let's just hope it stays that way.

29 :Read Comment

And So The Long Weekend Ends. [October 10 2005]
[ mood | I Don't Really Know. ]

"I can't wait to see you..I want to see if you still have that look in your eyes. That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes. It's a shame that we have to spend our time being mad about the same things..I don't know what else to do. I can't go on not loving you."
And that's my last "I wish we were back together, this is stupid, and I miss you" lyric quote.
Because I get it now.
I'm not settling for different.
Infact, different is better.

On a happy note..
Good weekend at le cottage.
It was really good.
I think just spending time with everyone cheered me up.
Not that I haven't been happy, it was just needed to kill an emotional "thing" I've been battling myself over.
Now all is well, Candace is content.

We had our "pre-halloween" up at the cottage, so don't be surprised if my next post consists of pictures of my friends and I wearing some sort of animal ears & bow ties and in my brother Jamie's case, dressed as a woman.
And me looking grumpy in some, because I was too old to trick-or-treat...bastards.
Overall, fucking amazing.
Friday & Saturday were more of our "relax-and-don't-do-anything-except-eat-poutines-and-gossip-about-people" days.
By Sunday, ugh.
To me, it's just one big colorful blur filled with

a) Way too many laughs that couldn't possibly be considered "sober mentality".
b) My legs hurting this morning from 6 straight hours of walking and then dancing.
& c) Me having absolutely no voice, because of the extreme quantity of screaming.

Oh my god, so tired.
I missed Pooh bear.

Hurry your ass up and get home.
Thanksgiving dinner = postponed until next weekend.
Due to "errbody being sick, and no time".
Eff that, y0.

Matt: Thanks for being totally awesome & gorgeous and then proceeding to dance like a total fag with me. You're the only ex that rocks so hard!..bad pun.. And you are welcome into the family, anytime! <3
Jamie: For letting me dress you like a woman, and continuing to love it. & Thank you for dancing with me and allowing me to win a prize <3.
Brad: For telling me that I'm the only person who can be short and get away with it, and then giving me your hat for several pictures.
& finally Shilo: Thank you for pushing the overly drunk horny girl off of me when I was talking to Darryl's friend, and then bitching at her & thank you for mall trolling with me on both Friday & Saturday <3.

Much Love Bitches.

21 :Read Comment

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